A Girl in a Thousand

You're a Girl in a Thousand and now that I've met you
I'm longing to make you my own
To pursue you and woo you and, hopefully, screw you
as soon as I get you alone
But I hope you won't mind when one fine day you find out
that you're not my sole concubine
You're a Girl in a Thousand, so where are the other
nine hundred and ninety nine?

Though to some it sounds crass, it takes more than one lass
to satisfy my appetite
I'm not needy, just seedy and terribly greedy,
some might say a bit of a shite.
It's not that you're faulty, too short or too salty,
your features are simply divine
You're a Girl in a Thousand but I want the other
nine hundred and ninety nine

There are plenty of women who aren't always slimmin'
and who don't have an unpleasant smell
Don't have scabies or rabies or even want babies
or live with the Mother from Hell
They aren't physical wrecks and can even face sex
with a dick as unpleasant as mine
You're a Girl in a Thousand but I want the other
nine - nine - nine

Please don't misunderstand me, castrate me or brand me,
you're truly the one love I seek
You're so sweet, you're petite, you have very nice feet
but then nobody's really unique
Though your looks are impressive, my lust is excessive,
to monogamy I don't incline
You're a Girl in a MILLION but I want the other
nine hundred and ninety nine thousand
nine hundred and ninety nine
(1996)