Cocktails for One

I've been round Manhattan by Sidecar
I'm kind of Old-fashioned you see
But it's not really me, that Long Island Iced Tea
Cosmopolitan though it may be

Now that Sex on the Beach is way out of my reach
And my Wall-Banging days are long past
Novelty tipples such as Slippery Nipples
Like Duck Farts, go by far too fast

I got rather fond of Mint Juleps
On a trip to the Kentucky Derby
But although I don't stint on that Bourbon and mint,
I prefer something slightly less herby

I became rather bored by the Gimlet,
Caipirinha, Mojito and Rickey;
Though a good splash of lime does the trick every time,
Too much of a good thing gets icky.

Now I do like a nice Dry Martini,
With the tiniest hint of Vermouth;
My sight may get blurred, but I rarely get stirred
Or well shaken, to tell you the truth.

So, though staggering round like a Zombie,
Unable to straighten Mai Tai,
I can't take them in doses that bring on cirrhosis,
No matter how often I try

But now that I've found Floradora
(Chambord, ginger ale, lime juice and gin)
I can quietly descend to a booze-sodden end
Let the liver-destruction begin!

26/6/14